I’ve spent most of the last year thinking constantly about writing. I’m not sure why. I guess because I spent a lot of money figuring out how to do it right, which I guess is where I’m at now, figured-up. But the things I’m supposed to write about don’t always interest me or I don’t know what interests me or I don’t know how to do what it is I’m supposed to know how to do. I’m getting tired of writing about writing and reading about writing. Craft is cool, but even that wears me out for a time.
I’m addicted to the HBO series The Wire. There’s this scene where Baltimore Police Lieutenant Cedric Daniels is arguing with his wife because instead of retiring from his job he takes on a new post.
Daniels: “I love the job, Marla. I can’t help it.”
Marla: “The job doesn’t love you.”
How fitting. I love writing, but it’s not like writing loves me. I’m always fighting it.
Stories seem like simple little creatures, but really they’re like looking at a mountain from far away. I feel close to the mountain because of its size, but the closer I move to it, the longer it takes to arrive at the base and the farther away it begins to feel.
At some point, when I think I’ve arrived, the mountain has blocked the sun and I’m moving through the darkness.
I’m always moving through the darkness and I can’t see my destination. I don’t know when or if I’ll actually arrive.
I love your metaphor of the mountain. I feel that way as well. There are times where you think you get to the top and you celebrate finally getting there only to realize you’ve only climbed the smallest peak. The climb never seems to end. If you can go back home and forget climbing, then you probably should. But if you can’t stay away from the mountain, you have no choice but to keep climbing
It’s a good thing I’m not scared of heights.
That? Is a spot-on analogy. As is laurenwaters’ advice.
Oh yeah, I there with you doing the two-step with the ever moving mountain.
“But the things I’m supposed to write about don’t always interest me or I don’t know what interests me or I don’t know how to do what it is I’m supposed to know how to do.”
Thanks
D
I can personally identify with your post–writing sometimes doesn’t like me. But it sounds like writing is your passion and people are benefitting from your natural gifts. As I read your post, I was reminded of the “Good to Great” principle. Even though we who follow your blog may have some natural talent for writing, there is going to be some challenging work to move from being a good writer to a great writer. I feel like I’m maybe in that “good writer” stage or possibly approaching it. I believe that blogging–or any form of writing–can help us get better. Keep up the great work you are doing!
Thanks Scott!
“I’m always moving through the darkness and I can’t see my destination. I don’t know when or if I’ll actually arrive.” So just have fun in the dark. Reaching destinations means the trip is over. Keep fighting, keep writing – you have an incredible talent.
Thank you.
I sympathize with the unfathomable story mountain. It’s one of those time when we have to remember that it’s about the journey, not the destination.
I really like what I see of your blog so far, and I look forward to reading more.
I also have trouble at times putting words to paper in an easy to read but yet intelligent and articulate way. For months I pondered “what the heck?” I thought I was finished, kaput ,done. Then one day as I was stepping out of the shower thinking of what shirt to wear I had a sudden Holy Spirit moment. I had to finish up some of my other outstanding personal commitments before I could finish my writing project. That there was a reason, which I won’t go into here, for the “block”. So clear your mind, pray up and let go of it. It will happen if it is supposed to happen. Maybe there’s a twist to the story line you will receive enlightenment about. I look forward to hearing more of how it’s going for you. Thanks for sharing.
I think I know a bit about how you feel. I don’t know why writing always ends up being so much harder than it should be. It many ways I’m tired of living under its shadow, but I’m drawn back to the hills and valleys–to the range, if you will, that writing brings to me. I enjoyed your post!
Also, I wanted to thank you so much for subscribing to my blog. Hope to see you around again soon.
Kathy
Thank you Kathy.
Hey, I just wanted to let you know I nominated you for The Versatile Blogger Award! More info can be found at this post: http://mystoriesareon.wordpress.com/2012/06/12/the-versatile-blogger-award-nomination/
I can relate. Writing is done in layers for me. It is definitely like looking at a complex object from far away and then you get closer and you have to add more details only to take some of them away later. I enjoy the process most of the time.
Yeah exactly, most of the time.
I think we always overthink writing. There was a time I was going to writing workshops – which are helpful – but then I’d go home and I wasn’t inspired to write outside of the workshop. The best thing that has worked for me is to just carve out 15-20 minutes a day with a notebook and just write, even if it’s a jumbled mess. Of course, blogging helps keep me inspired to just put words on paper (or the computer screen).
Those mountain metaphors get me! It can be particularly deceiving when you’re ON the mountain looking up, and thinking the parcels of sky through the trees mean you’re to the top, only to reach a plateau or ridge with another climb behind it. We just keep going, stopping every now and then to say thank you for all the wonder we can see up close: salmon berries, lady ferns, mountain goats.
If I saw a mountain goat up close, I would run away.
I know the feeling. The only way to arrive is to keep writing (though I don’t always follow my own advice). Strangely enough, I also think it helps to ignore all the advice.
I wish I couldn’t empathise with this. I wish I didn’t understand what you’re on about. And I wish I could say it’s only your problem.
But I can say I love The Wire!
I try to keep my eye on the destination but I have to admit the journey is fun too. I kinda like not knowing exactly when I’ll get there or if it’ll be the way it looks from afar. Oh, and I miss The Wire like nobody’s business! Best show on television ever!
I love what you have written here. To me, writing seems like an insurmountable task most days. For me it’s largely a matter of “fake it ’til you make it” or “just keep taking one small step.” As long as we’re compelled to write, that mountain will always be there. We have no choice to climb along through the darkness.
I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been lost in that darkness for years. If you keep looking for the peak however, you will never feel satisfied. Even after you finish one mountain there will be always be another mountain that seems even more daunting, and if you’re passionate about it, you won’t be able to stay away from the challenge.
Enjoy the journey in the dark, be one with the shadows and you will be just fine.
Seth.