Why You Should Never Write A Political Blog

Ever since I wrote a couple of political blogs last week I’ve had people from Washington reading up on me. And the other day I was driving down the road and I changed into the middle lane and someone in a black sedan three cars behind me changed into the middle lane also. So I sped up into the far right lane, passed a truck then moved in the far left lane. But the same sedan pulled up three feet from my bumper.

I performed some evasive movements like a head fake and the triple deke, but nothing worked, he was glued to me like Hu Jintao to the TV during a Baywatch marathon.

I’m supposed to report for jury duty in the morning, but it might just be a huge conspiracy to capture me. I’m working on a disguise so I’m not recognized by “them” and tortured until I give up my secrets. Because of my dark complexion I’m creating a mixture of cottage cheese and soy milk to lighten my color.

Speaking of cottage cheese, Philip Roth’s new novel Indignation is out today. At 5pm PST he’ll be doing a reading which will be shown on live video at selected bookstores across the nation. I was disappointed Powells wasn’t listed.

Power to the people. Jesus for President.